three brief thoughts on being human, and…

Hello, dear Reader –

I finally published it this week – my website, www.with-the-flow.com

and then – here are some Sunday morning thoughts for you:

thought 1 – soul trap

thought 2 – soul calling

thought 3 – not with the flow?

Rimini 2013

thought 1 – soul trap

About a month ago, the back up drive and the hard drive of my computer stopped working entirely, within a couple of days from each other. My laptop sounded as if a giant cricket had taken up residence inside it. The mouse froze, and the word “HELP!” (I am not joking!), appearing out of the darkening screen, was the last thing I saw before all activity ceased. I will spare you the details of the following events – the phone calls, the visits to various Apple specialists… The final verdict was: all data lost and retrievable, but only if much money is paid and the hard drive sent into a specialized facility…

I am sharing this with you not just to encourage you to taking backup solutions seriously for files you do care about. The experience shook me awake to the fact that even though it’s virtual, the stuff on our computers is still cluttering our lives. It differs only in form from the clutter in our closets, attics, and cellars – but it is still THERE.

Yes, I did have a moment of shock – I’d lost all files, projects in process, an exam paper, research notes, poetry collections, teaching notes, scripts, photos, and music from my past 10 years. And what I have not somehow shared via FaceBook, email, or this blog is indeed gone – deep down into the void of immaterial – what? where? So yes, there was shock – but very quickly, I felt relief. Because, let’s face it – I am alive, I did not loose the roof above my head, nor loved ones, nor do I live in fear. Now, I have about 50 files on the replacement hard drive (thankfully, I did not have to buy an entirely new computer – yet).

I feel lighter, and more conscious. I feel my soul expanding again. The electronic files may just exist in virtual space, but that still offers plenty of opportunity for letting me get stuck – my soul is holding on to traces of thoughts, work done, photos taken and not shared, remnants of procrastination, music bought and having died into – completely retrievable – shadows of itself. No virtual clutter on my computer – and I notice HOW MUCH of my words and pictures and thoughts IS OUT THERE, in the completely elusive trap we have created – and which we (at least most of us) don’t even understand the workings of.

thought 2 – soul calling

As to my second thought, it is connected to the fact that I have finally, after much work and procrastination, published my website. What took me so long (2 years of wanting to do it, and 1 year since I started on writing and building the site)?

Aside from the fact that the realm of the virtual has the ability to suck up our soul and life forces, taking us out of real time and space – here was my conundrum: the longer I live, the more I know, the more I realize that I know very little indeed. That is not a discovery reserved to me, I know. Everyone I have this conversation with has a more or less similar experience. We human beings walk from birth to death (and on…) along the narrow path of this paradox – the more I know, the less I know – the more I know, the deeper I stand in the mystery of not knowing, which holds the mystery of knowing in its lap.

While building the site, I struggled with the fact that I could not define my work, that I resist this act of condensation. Conversation with friends* over the past few days have made me word it much more clearly – my business, my work, my vocational calling is that of being human, and of supporting others to do the same (because it’s not automatic, just like being in a relationship is not automatic).

You’ll find greater experts in probably any of the services I offer. But what I specialize in is not being specialized. I specialize in keeping my abilities, activities, curiosities as large and encompassing as possible. I believe the human being grows and thrives when seen as complex, and when he/she is supported in this complexity. How many qualities and nascent capacities were cast aside in the pursuit of mere definition, and perfection?

Venice 2013

thought 3 – not with the flow?

What if true perfection did lie in living fully in imperfection? Not resting in it, nor using it as an excuse, but accepting it and using it as a springboard into curiosity?

How many times have I seen the pursuit of “being perfect” paralyze people in their will to act?

How many times have I soured my days, not breathed, held back from simply doing my best because I held my soul forces in the tight fist of the illusion of perfection?

Here’s to treading lightly, doing our best, and embracing the imperfection of being perfectly human!

 

Let me keep my distance, always, from those
who think they have the answers
Let me keep company, always, with those who say
“Look” and laugh in astonishment,
and bow their heads.
~Mary Oliver

 

Venice 2012

 

*and also these two blog posts, which circulated on Facebook:

Photographer Alan White Is Chronicling The “Death Of Conversation” Due To Smartphones

“We are emotional beings and need human-to-human contact to feel good.”

http://www.buzzfeed.com/alanwhite/a-photographer-is-chronicling-the-death-of-conversation-due

Cadence Turpin: A Better Way to Introduce Your Friends at Parties

http://storylineblog.com/2014/08/12/a-better-way-to-introduce-your-friends-at-parties/

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